2018 - A new year, a new me?
2018. A new year, a new beginning, right? RIGHT!
I love a new year. I love a new list. I love the excitement of thinking about all the possibilities, all the things i want to achieve and do and be. But generally a few weeks into a new year, I have already lost hope, I have already given up on this ‘new and improved me’ I conjured up over a bottle of wine a few weeks prior.
I have always been partial to the ‘when monday comes’ shtick - revving up to starting something like, lets say a health kick on Monday, falling off the wagon on Thursday (having a bite of cake/piece of cake/whole cake… You know what I’m talking about), then reaching the weekend only to begin revving myself up to once again to start on another health kick ‘when monday comes’.
The problem with this is that it ultimately sets me up to be a failure. I set myself strict guidelines and if I falter or step away from them for even a moment, I’m done. It’s not like I’m already putting a ridiculous amount of pressure on myself to be a super woman/mother/girlfriend/artist/teacher/support worker or anything, but to add diet/exercise/projects to the mix? Who am I kidding…
I do want to better my life, I want to find my ultimate happiness. But how can I do that when I am not allowing myself to just be human?
So when it came to writing my 2018 New Years Resolutions, I decided to choose language that allowed room for me to breath/fail/fall off the wagon/get back on again. I am also approaching the year with a sense of forgiveness - because nobody is perfect. I just want to do my best and when things don’t go as planned, I want to soften into those moments (which ultimately means not being so goddamn hard on myself) and allow things to flow.
Much easier said than done, but by golly I’ll give it a go.
Here is what I am looking forward to in 2018!
Keep working towards - L’s - P’s in the FREEDOM MACHINE! Get my drivers licence. IT’S TIME!
Keep working on my exploration of Creativity, Self-Love and Sass! Because 1. Being creative is a part of who I am and I feel alive and vital when I am doing it. 2. Self-Love is integral. More of it. All the time. And 3. Sass because there is a sassy creature inside of me that I want to unleash on the world screaming ‘HERE I AM BITCHES!’ These explorations are happening in my everyday life but mostly it gets documented in a journal. There is a section of the website with the same title that will give you some insight into this exploration!
Think about writing a kids show with Alasdair! Alasdair is my other half, and a bloody great comedian to boot. We have always talked about turning our everyday antics and sporadic sing-songs at home with our son into a kids show. Who knows, Fringe 2018?!
Try to drink Less. Booze that is. Pretty self-explanatory but I’ll delve deeper into this in a separate post.
Explore making music that makes me MOVE! Because I have always wanted to, but never have!
Continue to feed my Mind (meditation) Body (good food/exercise) and Soul (creative work/self-love/DANCING AMIRITE?!)
Be present as fuck with Alasdair and Otis. But be kind to myself if i just need to, you know, switch off for a moment.
Excelling at my job with creativity, kindness, initiative and patience. Because I believe these things will make me a better teacher and I am totally capable of doing so.
LESS PHONE TIME! This ties in with being present.
Working towards starting the Almost Wholesome blog! Bloody knocking this one out of the park early!
Continue to reconnect with my sensual self. Because who has time to be/wants to be sexy post baby? I am sure there are women out there who do/are but let me tell you, that ain’t me. I’ve been working through some serious post baby shit with a sexologist (yes they exist and yes you should see one) and it’s been bloody amazing.
FUCKING KICK ALL THE DICK WITH CONFIDENCE - UNAPOLOGETICALLY. No notes needed.
So that’s it! *breathes out*
It seems like a lot but to be honest I am doing most of it already. Happy that I’ve given myself room, and happy that I am now accountable. Thanks for that!
Here’s to 2018! Here’s hoping it's a fucking ripper!